Lou Priolo has an excellent chapter on biblical communication being the key to dealing with anger. Here is a quote, ” I don’t believe you will ever solve your anger problems without making it your goal to become proficient in biblical communication.” (p. 54) But what struck me most about the chapter was the way he addressed all three ways we communicate. He noted that we communicate by words, tone of voice and with our body (non-verbal communication). Here is another quote. “It is not enough to choose the right words. We must say the right words in a tone that is appropriate.” (p. 56) His point throughout the chapter is that we must train our children to respond appropriately using all three modes of communication.
I am often happy if my child voices the words, “I’m sorry.” Or “Yes Sir.” But I am not nearly as diligent to make sure their tone and non-verbal communication is respectful and godly. As I have begun to work on those two other areas I have noticed that it is much more difficult for a child to fake all three modes of communication. Usually, their words are fine, but their tone is not. When I ask them to fix their tone it can take a while. They may need to sit down and think about how to respond. All in all I feel that by addressing all three areas of communication I am getting deeper into their heart.