There are no quick and easy methods for keeping your heart and mind pure before marriage. In this fallen world we must wake up each day and fight the battle again. And our weapons do not change. They are same as they have always been; communion with God and with his people.
The first weapon is the reading, study, and memorization of God’s Word. You are probably sick of hearing about this. But God’s Word is the weapon he has given us to defeat Satan, his allies, the world, and the sin our own hearts. It is the tool Jesus used when he was tempted. It is the tool we should use as well. Battles require weapons, not good intentions. You can have a great desire to win the battle, but if you show up on the battlefield in your pajamas your intentions are irrelevant. You will get slaughtered. You have to prepare to fight. Your first line of defense is the Scripture. Don’t leave your sword on the shelf. Don’t let your sword become dull. Read God’s Word. Memorize it. Study it. Pray it. Sing it. Filling yourself up with God’s Word will help drive sin out of your heart.
Second, we must develop healthy prayer lives. We should regularly take our requests to our faithful High Priest, who will give us the aid we need to fight the battles. Remember the passage in Ephesians on the armor of God ends with a call to prayer (Ephesians 6:10-20). Prayer is often one of the last things we turn to because it doesn’t seem powerful. But this only shows our lack of faith. If God is real and his Son is real and the Spirit is real then prayer is a great weapon in our battle for sexual sanctification.
Third, we should have regular fellowship with God’s people. Worship is, of course, the primary way we do this. You cannot expect to have victory over sexual sin if you are not worshiping weekly with God’s people. But go beyond that. Keep company with those who are chasing after the same goals as you. Hang out with holy people even if they are not as cool as the unholy ones. Brothers in arms are good to have when you are fighting temptation. Sisters who are watching their hearts and minds are good companions on the road of sanctification.
Fourth, be accountable. This is not the same thing as the fellowship of number three. Build a relationship with someone of the same sex who is more mature (usually older) than you. Make this a relationship where the hard questions are asked. Ladies this is not just for men. Do you have someone that keeps you accountable? Do you have someone who will ask you whether you are flirting? Do you have someone who will ask you about your sexual purity? Do you have someone who will warn you if you are getting too close to a guy? Men, who asks you the hard questions? Who asks you about your thought life, about what you do in the shower, or about how you treat women at work? If the answer is “No one” or “I am not sure” then you are in danger.