I’m 39 years old, a homeschooling mother of 9 and a reformed Presbyterian pastor’s wife. I was raised in the church (Baptist), went to a Christian college and have always been pro-life. When I was in college, I volunteered as a counselor at a Crisis Pregnancy Center and convinced many young women to protect their unborn babies. Being pregnant with my first child during part of that time, I was especially torn apart when I would fail to convince a woman to not destroy her child.
I thought that being pro-choice was a political position. To the extent that the position included the belief that a woman should be allowed to kill her unborn baby, I opposed it. What I didn’t know was that being pro-choice is actually a foundational mindset from which a person operates and makes decisions. I’m talking about a belief system that supports the notion that an individual has the right to pursue personal happiness at any expense to others. Of course, we would never state it like that. We use words like liberty and freedom of choice. It sounds liberating, but all it actually means is that I’m free to imprison myself to becoming a meat-eating destroyer of those around me who interfere with my personal desires.
I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep my judgments and do them. Ezekiel 36:25-27
I still feel the pain of the damage I’ve done. Knowing just how damaging my choices and behavior were and seeing the consequences is part of what helps to keep me from doing it anymore. But I’m forgiven. Jesus’ free grace has made me whole. I have been given a new start.
As the videos have exposed, our nation has a load of blood guilt on our hands. We are a broken people. The videos show the hardness of heart and self-deception that allow “normal” people to casually rip apart babies and sell the parts and not realize the gruesome destruction that they are enacting. They also bring to light that there are millions of souls with abortions on their conscience. There are souls like mine, also, that are guilty, though never actually having had an abortion. The exciting thing about this revelation is that I know it is an opportunity. It is an open door to repent and receive the free forgiveness that Christ offers. Real healing can happen. Restoration can occur.