Earlier in the week I sent this Tweet:
Conservative mothers whether biological or “mothers” in the church are often a great hindrance to the cultivation of true masculinity.
— Peter N. Jones (@PastorPeter77) August 2, 2016
As with most Tweets it lacks clarification and nuance. A friend of my said as much, so I decided to post a follow up explaining what I meant. By conservative, I mean religiously conservative, not politically. The description below will flesh that out a bit.
I have been a pastor in a conservative church in a conservative denomination for almost ten years. I home school and interact with the homeschooling community frequently. I have a wife and six boys. The point I made in my Tweet is one that I have seen in my own home, church, and denomination, as well as other conservative communities. Boys can have a hard time becoming men in conservative settings. The problem is not universal. Many, maybe even most, conservative moms and dads are doing a good job raising masculine boys. But the problem is not rare either. This is not just the fault of these moms, of course. The culture, both broadly and in our churches, pastors, and dads all share the blame. However, mothers can and do undermine masculinity in boys.
Why did I single out conservative moms instead of liberal ones? Well first that is my audience. I would rather preach to the individuals I know than the masses I don’t know. But also because they have a difficult time seeing the part they play in the emasculation of their own boys. Conservative moms view themselves as going against the flow and fighting against the feminism in our culture. Many of them are stay at home moms or part time stay at home moms who have rejected a career to raise children. Most home school or send their kids to private school. They go to worship and are active in their church. They submit to their husbands. They read their Bible and pray. They dress modestly. These are all good things. But as Doug Wilson has taught me when you go to algebra class you get equations. When you go to biology class you get problems about dissecting frogs. And when you have conservative Christian mothers you get women who do not see how they could possibly be a blockade to manliness in their boys and husband. They are the ones doing it “right.” These women are the ones least likely to believe they are the problem. I know many conservative mothers who are doing well at raising boys. But in conservative churches this is an issue and pastors ignore it to their own peril.
How do conservative women emasculate their boys and their husbands?
- They do not follow their husband’s lead and vision. Conservative wives are just as prone to usurping their husbands as liberal wives are. The difference is that conservative wives don’t do it openly. They find ways to get their way while appearing submissive. The couple wants to look like the man is head, but in reality the woman is. That means in public she will never disrespect her husband or talk back or disagree. But of course, by the time they get into public the husband knows exactly what to do and say. He knows the boundaries. The wife’s vision for the family dominates. Her issues are the family issues. Her talking points are the talking points for the family. What is most important to her is what must be most important to the family. The husband is a figurehead. This isn’t so much about specific situations, such as buying a car or the children’s education. It is about who sets the direction for the family. Who is actually leading the family? The central problem here is that both spouses think the husband is the one setting the course when the truth is he is on a leash.
- They refuse to submit to their elders or church leaders. Often conservative women will hide behind male headship to avoid accountability. “Talk to my husband. I submit to him not to you” is the idea, though those words are rarely spoken. A woman who is not really submitting to her husband will not submit to a male session. This can lead to serious conflict because the husband has bent to the wife’s demands she expects the session to as well. When it doesn’t she gets angry and/or manipulative.
- They function on fear. For some reason many conservative Christian woman in the 21st century are fearful of just about everything. How many things pushed by conservative women are driven by fear? This impulse is good when kids are little. It keeps children from dying young. But as kids get older mothers must learn throw their boys into the arena. Boys and men need risk, not carelessness, but risk. Risk is good for masculinity. Fear must be overcome. Obstacles must be knocked down. Dragons must be fought. Blood must be spilled. Mothers should push their boys (and husbands) to take risks, which means they must be willing for their boys to fail, to get hurt, to be embarrassed, and to lose. As their boys get older they need to get them out of the house and into the world. A fearful mother who controls her son and what situations he is put in will ultimately undermine his manliness and leave him unprepared to lead.
- They blame others for the problems in their sons instead of assuming responsibility for them. As boys get older sins and deficiencies begin to appear. A mom begins to reap. This happens to all of us, no exceptions, dads included. We fail. I felt the pain of this over the years as has my wife. We all will. By God’s grace many of our sins do not manifest themselves in our children. God is kind to us here. But some seeds we plant grow into ugly weeds. At that point we have a choice. We can either blame the guy down the road for allowing his wicked seed to get in our otherwise perfect garden. Or we can repent, acknowledge our sins to God, our sons, and husband, find forgiveness and begin fixing our mistakes. Why would a mother’s refusal to repent emasculate her boys? It creates an atmosphere of excuse making. Excuse making is the death of true masculinity.
Fathers and husbands can play a large role in undermining masculinity in boys. Men are responsible for their household. But Proverbs says that a woman can tear her house down (Prov. 14:1). Any pastor with two eyes has seen this happen. Conservative mothers need to be humble enough to admit that they can, at times, be unwilling partners with the feminists in failing to promote true masculinity in their homes and churches. They need to listen to and follow their husbands, not in word, but in deed. Where is he taking the family? How can they follow him? They need to listen to their pastors and elders. Pastors need to preach on this and privately exhort mothers in their congregations to be careful of over protection, fear, and domination. Mothers play a key role in making boys into men and helping their husbands be men. But they don’t do this by constantly watching them, pecking them like hens, being their best friends, trying to get them to act like women, or manipulating them. They do this by fearing the Lord, not man (I Peter 3:1-6), worshiping God, following their husbands, managing their household with grace and faith, respecting the men in their household, and setting their sons free to serve God and their fellow man.
Thank you, Pastor! A very fitting word.
Excellent, thank you brother!
Hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahaha. This is terrible advice.
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I understand you also have 3 daughters yet you don’t mention them at all–not even in passing. I think your omission gives readers insight into how little you think of them and perhaps women in general.
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The post is about mothers emasculating sons. Daughters were not the subject.
Maybe daughters are not the subject, but they still deserve recognition. Had I not been informed of your daughters, I would have assumed you had only sons. Furthermore, daughters watch their mothers. Are you not concerned that daughters (including your own) who see their mothers “emasculate” their brothers will follow in their footsteps?
Also, by whose metric do you define “masculinity”? Scriptures? I don’t see a lick of Scripture until the end of your screed and none of those verses define masculinity. Doug Wilson’s? The man who advocated for two pedophiles and married one of them off to a woman in his church with disastrous results? Hardly a good source for such a definition.
Let’s face it: you’re using the world’s definition of masculinity. Tough, self-sufficient, emotionally distant, rough — the macho stereotypes go on and on. Oh, and conservative, which perpetuates the stereotype again. If he prefers a mixer to a drill, squelch that interest, Mom. If he’d rather paint still lifes than houses, take away the brushes, Mom. If figure skating excites him more than football, change that channel, Mom. If he’d rather nurture a child than nurture a car, remind him that he’s a BOY and boys don’t do that! It doesn’t matter what a son’s interests are, as long as he turns out tough, macho, and conservative, it’s okay.
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There are plenty of “masculine”, “macho” stereotypical “all male” men who are LGBTQ, and there are plenty of men who are what you would think are “effeminate”, (I.e.: caring, sensitive, cry at movies, cut hair, like interior design, poetry, art, fashion, , romantic comedies, have soft voices maybe, flowers, Broadway, have soft voices, are kind to children, teach elementary school, are nurses instead of doctors, bake cookies,) who are very heterosexual and monogamous. Gender, and I know you think this is heresy, is not binary, it is a spectrum, as is sexual orientation. all of which is part of the fullness and huge and wonderful and amazing mind blowing lovingly crafted just for us Creation of God HImself. And Jesus, it says right at the beginning of the Gospel of John was right there creating with him, nothing was created without Him, either. He knew that there were all kinds of men, and He knew He created homosexuality in some people, just like They created their curly hair, their blue eyes, their shape of nose, their family tendency towards diabetes or cancer, their amaziing art skills, for example. Sexual orientation is just a part of who we are as human beings. It is neither right or wrong. Bible translators and historians and theologians have studied the texts of Romans and other places where he mentions it, and the Greek words translation does not actually translate directly to English, especially modern English. Therefore a truly conservative viewpoint would look at what translators are saying and the context of what Paul was really talking about in Romans, where he was speaking about the sexual assault of young male slaves and the rape of enemy soldiers after the were conquered on the battlefield, (which, by the way, seems an act filled with male testosterone rage to me, speaking of being masculine, if you are going to idolize that) , that a life apart from God leading to devastation and ruin, that He wants us to be close to Him and love one another, and not judge each other, which is also part of the same book. I am sorry you are so desperate to hang on to your bit of power you have over others, that you can’t see past that in order to love everyone, humbly and really just relax and see and love who people are where they are as human beings, and share Jesus’s love for them, rather than worrying making everyone fit in their harnesses and yokes, so that you can think you have the reins and have some control. God really did not give you any, except for over yourself and your own choices in how you treat people, with love or with judgement, as a Follower of Jesus, a part of The Way, or a Pharisse. These things are under your control.
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Ms. Gorman, your interpretation of Romans, etc. is decidedly outside the tradition the Christian church. For almost 2000 years, not including the OT, the Christian world (as well as much of the pagan one) rejected sodomy as a wrong and incapable of sustaining a society or civilization. Even ancient Rome with all the men who loved boys knew that sodomy could not be the foundation for a society. The male rape idea is weak, since there were words in the Roman world for every possible sex act, including male rape, yet for some reason Paul did not use those words. Were women raping women (Romans 1:26)? Your idea that the words don’t translate into English well is convenient, but also a lie. The words translate just fine into English, as they have for 2000 years. The difference is now we don’t like what they say. Yes your view of gender is heresy and a cancer that will send people to Hell (I Cor. 6:9-10). I encourage you to read Robert Gagnon or the more recent book “Unchanging Witness” by Fortson and Grams. Both refute your views, along with Gushee’s, Boswell’s, and others with scholarship and Biblical exegesis.
I find it funny that feminists come on here and declare what my view of what a true man is. Apparently they believe that I am a mean, Neanderthal simply because I believe women should obey the Bible. I have six sons, soon to be seven. They hold babies, feed babies, read board books to kids, push them in strollers, bake cookies, cook full meals, play with their sisters, play piano, garden, hunt, play basketball, throw the football, paint, draw, shoot guns, fish, and sing. I wonder if you have ever met a true man, one who can shoot an animal, bake cookies, sing, and then play with their one year old little brother, and yet still remain a man. I just wrote a post on masculine physical affection. It is funny how into stereotypes you ladies are.
My husband is all of those things, dear, don’t worry, and my father as well. They are even more of a real man since they are not scared of feminism, but instead respect, encourage, and truly love their wives and daughters and the other women in their lives. Number one, Jesus is my Lord and Savior above all, and I do obey Him in all things, including the two things He says are most important. He is my whole life, heart and soul, and so I do what He asks in loving everyone and teaching them about Him, praying for them, and giving them His Living Water, meaning everyone. And since He asks that I not judge them, and leave the judgement to Him, that is what I do. As for what homosexuality being thought wrong for thousands of years, thankfully God has given us the sciences of genetics, psychology, biology, along with archeological and historical research and the wisdom He has blessed us with, along with the Holy Spirit that tells us that this only makes sense, that two women or two men who are devoted Christians and save themselves for marriage to each other are not committing a sin, and above that, since He created them in that way, it must certainly be His will that they when they do fall in love, that, just like Paul advised everyone, that they marry so they are not tempted then to sin. Procreation is not the only reason for marriage. If it was couples with fertility issues and women who have needed hysterectomies or who are past menopause all also should not be able to marry. And I am sure you have read other scholars who support your views, just as I have read plenty that support mine, and some that don’t. But just because something has been believed for thousands of years, is does not make it truth. The only thing that makes it truth is that it actually is true. And the most important truth of all is that Jesus is Lord, and to live and love the way He asks, sacrificially, humbly, lovingly, reaching out to the outcasts, the sick and the lost, and eating with them, and touching their lives. I actually worship Jesus, not the Bible. The Bible is absolutely necessary to my entire life and heart and mind and soul, don’t get me wrong, but it is not God Himself. To make an idol out of it, and it’s laws, especially to the point where one is using it to hurt and exclude others from His love, grace and Kingdom, is to get far away from the will of Jesus, and the intent of the writers of the Book.
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Mrs. Gorman, the Bible is not Jesus. We do not worship it. But the only way we know who Jesus is, what he did, and what he requires of us is the Bible. Either you believe what Jesus, through His Spirit gave us in the Scriptures, that is from Genesis to Revelation, or you don’t.
I never denied that, and never would. On that we can agree. How to use it in our lives is obviously another story. I only meant that I hold the words of Jesus first and above all else. In His Love, Jen
Why have women be involved in raising boys at all then? Why not have fathers raise them, while mothers raise daughters? Are men and women truly complementary, then, if the mother’s influence on boys is little more than simply pointing them to their father, so they don’t risk emasculating them? What’s the point? Complementarity is also for balance, right? So neither half goes too far or dominates the other? Or why did God design us different? Your own logic is not making sense.
We all follow Christ. We all conform to His image. What image do women have to conform to? Are they conforming to a “masculine” image?
Applying that to what you’re saying here…. I submit that many of our problems come from men and women being forced into molds that have nothing at all to do with following Christ, but rather follow a fallen world order of male domination and female resentment. You would have men be more masculine, and women be more feminine, but where is Christ? What attributes of Christ, who was a male, are distinctly masculine or distinctly feminine? He wept. He was angry. He flipped tables. He tenderly healed. He, as God, and a man, willingly submitted to His Father to death. He was kind. He had compassion. He meekly road into Jerusalem on an ass’ colt. He called the Pharisees snakes and hypocrites.
I, as a man, find so much to learn from in His life. I learn submission from his life. I learn compassion. I learn strength. I learn sacrificial love. I must be a complete, balanced man, just as he was, “feminine virtues” and all. Being “feminine” or “masculine” is meaningless – that’s the way of the world, and it changes depending on whatever the culture is or isn’t. I choose Christ. I’ve been hurt so much more trying to fit my life into the mold of masculinity than to accept who I am, and who I am in Christ and follow his example of love, kindness, compassion, sacrifice, and strength. I don’t care how masculine I am. My wife does not dominate me, nor do I dominate her. For either of us to do so is to live the Curse, not the new creation. We submit to each other, as Christ modeled. We lead by example, as Christ also modeled. Jesus did not come to redeem masculinity or femininity. He came to redeem humanity. Being more masculine or more feminine is fool’s gold.
I suspect you’ll do little more than bring more scripture to quote at me, which is ok. I grew up like that as well. I know the verses. I lived them. I’ve seen their fruit, in other’s lives and our own, and that is enough.
Please consider the foundation you’ve built your argument on.
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Thanks. Well said.
Yes, excellent reply.
“Jesus did not come to redeem masculinity or femininity. He came to redeem humanity. Being more masculine or more feminine is fool’s gold.”
THIS IS GOLD!
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“Being ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’ is meaningless – that’s the way of the world, and it changes depending on whatever the culture is or isn’t. I choose Christ.” BINGO.
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Yes yes yes.
So when are you converting to Islam?
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Wow. Even the women who are trying to do complementarianism right are doing it wrong!
Even though they and their husbands think he is the leader — nope! She’s the leader.
Even though they and their husbands think her submitting to him fulfills with the law — nope! She needs to submit to more men.
And somehow although men are supposed to be head of the household and all that, if their sons don’t measure up to the imaginary masculinity standard– it’s mum’s fault!
I think this says more about complementarianism than it does about mums.
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Jax, men can mess things up as much as women, no doubt about that. If you poke around my blog you can find plenty of hard words for men. The man is the head of the house, but that does not mean a woman cannot destroy it. It is naive to believe that complementarian women cannot sin by usurping their husband’s authority. Your approach is exactly the problem I see all around me. “I am complementarian. I am believe my husband is the leader. I am doing it right. Therefore I cannot possibly be called to account.”
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Your first point shows just how stupid complementarianism is. Of course comp women need to manipulate their husbands. They have no choice but to do it to survive, because complentarianism is not a practical way to live. God didn’t create us to be like that and if you haven’t got that you’ve missed a whole lot of the wider Gospel message. I imagine that affects way more than just your twisted view of gender relations.
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Thanks for the reply. It’s far worse than you know in my case … Not a complementarian, into mutual submission with my husband, and don’t even believe sin is a problem for believers as Jesus paid it all — including “usurping authority” if there is such a thing! 🙂
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Complementarianism teaches a “gospel” that comes in pink for girls and blue for boys–thus a false and satanic (yes, you read that right) “gospel”.
In marriage it encourages men to be pridefully and egotistically domineering. It encourages women to be irresponsibly passive, childish, and yet manipulative. None of these are exactly Christlike.
Quite honestly, if men really are the leaders you claim they are, they’d all just shut up about this issue and lead by example. They certainly wouldn’t be telling women that “unmanly men” (whatever that means) are somehow their fault.
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How dare you say these things to women who are trying to live a life of love, who you have never met, as if we are all the same, like there can be no way a woman would not be like this. I am sorry if you have been hurt by a woman with these character traits, but not all of us the same woman. Every mom I have ever known, including me, has enough worries enough about her children, carries enough burdens of heartache, grief and stress, and blames herself enough needlessly, and yes, while leading a life loving Jesus and being devoted to Him and prayer and reading the Word, without someone who has not been a wife or mother and obviously has the empathy and compassion of a brick wall adding to her burdens. This post has nothing in it that has even a dust particle size piece of the Love and Grace and Mercy of Jesus. What is that I read this morning in Ephesians 4 about saying only what is encouraging and builds others up? Did you really think that this came even close to that? And where is any kind of real support for your statements anyway? Probably because there simply is none.
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I say, “Many, maybe most” women are doing well at raising their sons. Clearly, I am not condemning all women everywhere or treating all the women the same. I have met dozens of wives and mothers and many of them are great wonderful folks who love Jesus. But some think they love Jesus and don’t. Of course, every mom worries about their child, just like every dad does. We all grieve and ache. What does that have to do with the point? Does our emotional love for our children make us incapable of hurting them? Does a mother’s love for her son make her unable to hurt his growth into manhood? Of course not. We all believe we are doing well. But if we are wise we know there are blind spots. And yes the grace of Christ covers those, hence the call to repent. But the grace doesn’t cover folks who pretend like they don’t have blind spots.
As for me not being a wife or mother, that is an odd accusation because Paul wasn’t either and neither was Peter or Jesus or Moses or Solomon, yet they all spoke to women about their faults and responsibilities. I am pastor. You are not. I am a man. You are not. Yet you feel free to lecture to me about how I should write and teach despite having never been in my shoes, which is fine by me. I am just not sure why it is fine by you. You don’t have to be a woman to speak to women. You don’t have to be a mother to speak to mothers.
As for grace, love and mercy, God’s Word, which is quoted extensively in the final sentence, is all grace, love, and mercy. Someone helping us see our sins is all grace, love, and mercy. Paul does tell us to use edifying words (Eph. 4:29) right before he tells wives to submit to their husbands as to Lord in everything (Eph 5:22-24). In Christ, Peter
Yes, you said that at the beginning, but you certainly wrote a piece where an insecure woman would wonder if she was the kind of woman you were writing about. And, yes, that is your responsibility if you are going to write a piece like this. Being a pastor does not give you the life experience or educational background to advise mothers, no. Advise us on faith issues, yes, maybe, if we choose you as our pastor. As for Jesus, Paul, Moses, and Solomon, one is God, and the others were given what they wrote by God, it is Scripture. This is not, and you are not God. You are a man, which is exactly my point. You feel free to lecture me how I should mother my son, never having been in my shoes, so I guess you know how this feels then, but not really. Mothering your child is a much more vital role, and more a part of who a woman is, heart and soul, than a single blog piece. I am not discussing the writing of your entire blog, just this piece, since this is first one I have read, and probably the last, since I do not want to be emotionally abused in the future. You may be a father. That is not the same thing as being a mother, they are two different roles, especially if you want the mother to be a “stay at home” mom, which I was, and continue to be, since my young adult son has high functioning autism. You do not have to be a mother to speak to mothers, but since women are intelligent beings, believe it or not, we do not have to take you seriously if you do not have either the life experience or the degree in developmental psychology, or are showing us any kind of research or studies to back up your opinions. You wouldn’t ask a dentist for advice on why your car is back firing, or why the brakes aren’t working, you would ask a certified, experienced mechanic. Your Divinity degree is not the same thing as, say, the life skills and wisdom hard earned by my both grandmothers raising five and four children respectively. My father’s mother did it alone, as a young widow, when my grandfather died of a heart attack when he was about to turn 40, and my dad, the oldest of the five, was only 12, and my mom’s mother raised four daughters, with a huge deep love for her husband that supported him and grounded him, giving him family after raising himself since early adolescence, they both taught me everything about faith, patience, kindness, sacrificing for my family, my husband, and God. Or there is my dear friend who not only raised her own children but also raised several special needs foster children until she was in her 60’s as well, and taught me so much about raising a man of strong, devoted faith who also happens to be autistic. Women do not need to listen to the hurtful words of someone who does not have the experience. You are not Jesus, the Bible, or our husbands, thankfully.
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If people are going to call you “pastor”, you can start by actually being a Christian.
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Dude!! Where do you get off assuming that women are going to tear down their houses; the houses those men built? I can’t believe the level of rubbish in this. “Those feminists” you obviously despise, are doing their best to be true to who God has called them to be. Feminism is not wrong…in fact you could do well to try to understand it a bit better.
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Of course, I am not assuming all or even most women will tear down their houses. But I am assuming women can and at times do tear down their own houses. See Genesis 3:6, I Kings 21:25-26, Proverbs 14:1, 19:13, 21:9, I Timothy 5:11-13, II Timothy 3:6.
Where does “tear down their houses” equal “emasculating their sons”?
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I echo tiquatue’s question.
Could it be that a father who domineers his entire family makes his children feel timid? I.e., the problem isn’t that wives aren’t submitting enough, but that husbands are domineering too much? My dad subscribed to this model of “biblical manhood” and I’ve been second-guessing my decisions since I was a small child.
David, I have seen that happen regularly and have been guilty of it at points in my own life. It is a danger for men. When a father dominates his children either through yelling, physical abuse, or other means he is sinning and hurting his children. Any definition of masculinity that leaves a son or daughter in state of constant anxiety is bad definition of masculinity. A son (and a daughter) should be raised by both mom and dad to have a humble, yet confident attitude that is rooted a trust in God and understanding of his Word.
Good job brother. Keep up the good work. Very timely words indeed. And judging by the responses, you seem to have touched an issue that needs to be addressed.
We women just can’t do anything right, can we?
Marie, you’re certainly not speaking for my Mom or any of my aunts! And, here’s the funny thing – none of them, when they were rearing their sons, were Christians. They did live with the momentum of a Christian culture, and that included basic notions of masculinity and femininity and how to rear masculine sons and feminine daughters. To judge by my myriad cousins (Mom’s mom had eleven children, and most of them had largish families as well), all those unbaptized, unchurched men and women did a fine job rearing masculine sons and feminine daughters!
So, I hail from a family whose women did a fine job!
Pr. Peter is speaking of a kind of self-identified Christian mother who molly coddles her boys, who makes a show of submitting to her husband when in fact she rules him quite effectively, and who produces sons whose manliness is either flawed or retarded. Your passive-aggressive retort help us to know what sort of mother you’re apt to be.
Actually, Bill, I can’t have children.
I admit to my comment being sarcastic. I am exasperated and wearied by Christian men placing the blame for perceived ills on the shoulders of women. Is this edifying? Do you think the average woman walks away from this article feeling anything other than guilt? I doubt it.
As others have pointed out, exactly what standard of “masculine” are we using here? There is nothing spelled out as explicitly being masculine in Scripture. We see men who were singers, poets, artisans, shepherds, soldiers, kinds, priests, prophets, husbands, farmers, etc. Who among these is more “masculine” than the others?
I am so tired of this argument.
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Uh, oh, Pr. Peter! You seem to have slipped as far as your blog’s purpose is concerned. I mean that “driving off wolves” part. Instead it looks like you’ve attracted a whole passel of them!
Interesting, and ironic, how we are to hold women’s feet to the fire to the last possible degree in holding them personally responsible for all these male problems, no blaming others, no making excuses. What are the men doing? What is this writer doing? Blaming others and making excuses. Specifically, blaming women. Some male leadership. If you believe that is how it should be, then step up and do it and don’t make excuses and blame others. Wow, what a blind spot.
Feminist Logic 101: If you blame women for anything at all then conversely you are excusing men from taking any blame at all. If you point out a particular sin some women might be committing, it clearly means you are excusing men from all sins everywhere, at all times, and in all situations. Either women are to blame for everything or men are. It must be either/or. It cannot be both/and.
“If you point out a particular sin some women might be committing, it clearly means you are excusing men from all sins everywhere, at all times, and in all situations. ”
These women aren’t sinning. They are trying to live up to the impossible standards imposed on them by you and your ilk within conservative church circles. They are Abigails married to a bunch of Nabals (fools) who refuse to live up to their so-called God ordained male headship roles. They want the kudos for being the “leader”, but they dump all the responsibilities on their wives or make stupid or destructive decisions that threaten family stability. A lot of these conservative women are forced into a role they do not want to be in and do not believe in because they have to overcompensate for immature or egotistical husbands. The best they can do is try to give an appearance of outward submission so their husbands can save face while hoping their husbands will step up to the plate. Instead, they are chastised and blamed for what their husbands refuse to do while desperately hoping and praying their husbands will become responsible leaders.
Good Lord, what ROCK did you crawl out from under. This is the biggest crock of scubula I have ever seen. Sounds like you are secretly rebelling against your own emasculinity.
Feminist Logic 101 (continued): When you have no reasonable objection to something, hurl epithets at the one with whom you disagree. Argumentum ad hominem is the troll’s first response to whatever he dislikes.