This post contains semi-graphic discussion of pornography that readers may find unpleasant. I have put a break here so if you are not interested in reading you can retreat.
Last week a couple of articles came out that showed the affect pornography is having on people, in particular the way girls are treated.
First, Teen Vogue ran an article describing and discussing anal sex. The article was positive about and treated as normal minor boys sodomizing minor girls. Needless to say I will not link to the article. Here is one comment from the article that was quoted by Denny Burk:
Anal sex, though often stigmatized, is a perfectly natural way to engage in sexual activity. People have been having anal sex since the dawn of humanity. Seriously, it’s been documented back to the ancient Greeks and then some. So if you’re a little worried about trying it or are having trouble understanding the appeal, just know that it isn’t weird or gross.
Remember this magazine is presumably aimed at 13-17 year old kids, minors who shouldn’t be having sex much lest concerned about this particularly ugly sex practice. I encourage you to read Denny Burke’s article for a critique. The sexual revolution has always wanted our children.
Second, Rod Dreher posted an article on The Terrible Cost of Porn. In it he linked to an article from UK Telegraph where a doctor tells of teenage girls coming to her practice embarrassed, injured, and unable to control their bowels because of anal sex.
A [doctor], let’s call her Sue, said: “I’m afraid things are much worse than people suspect.” In recent years, Sue had treated growing numbers of teenage girls with internal injuries caused by frequent anal sex; not, as Sue found out, because she wanted to, or because she enjoyed it – on the contrary – but because a boy expected her to. “I’ll spare you the gruesome details,” said Sue, “but these girls are very young and slight and their bodies are simply not designed for that.”
The Telegraph article also noted that there has been a sharp rise in emotional problems among girls ages 11-13 while the boys often show few problems, other than wanting to sodomize their girlfriends I suppose.
In the same article, Dreher notes that Japan is having a problem getting men to have sex at all. Men are afraid of women. 43 % of people between the ages of 18-34 are virgins and over 60% are not in any kind of relationship at all. When a Japanese woman was asked why she said, “men “cannot be bothered” to ask the opposite sex on dates because it was easier to watch internet porn.” As Dreher notes, “It’s one thing to be a virgin because you choose to abstain until marriage, for religious or moral reasons. It’s quite another to be a virgin because you are too afraid of emotional and physical intimacy, and would rather sit home and watch porn.”
Isn’t in interesting that in England the boys sodomize the girls and in Japan the boys refuse to touch girls at all. Both are a consequence of sexual freedom, license, and in particular pornography.
Finally, Dreher followed this up with letters from his readers describing their own porn addictions. If you don’t know what pornography does to people read these letters. I was a porn user from the age of 11 until around 25. This included four years of Bible school. I know first hand what porn destroys. Even when you have kicked the habit it continues to claw at your soul and mind. I can also tell you that pornography is filled with rape, sodomizing, incest, torture, and all other imaginable sexual perversions. It is dark and ugly and our kids are eating it up assuming this is what sex is or should be.
Here are some of my quick thoughts on from these articles with a hat tip to Burke, Dreher, and George Gilder.
First, both Dreher and Burke mention the desperate need to teach our children how to handle technology. This is not a cure-all. But without it our children cannot avoid or resist pornography. Children of all ages can access with porn with ease that even 20 years ago was hard to imagine. Between 60 and 70% of pornography is accessed on phones. At age 11 the average child has already seen pornography. 22% of the pornography viewed by children under 18 is viewed by kids under the age of 10. There are numerous ways to do this. You might want to look at Tim Challies Porn Free Family for some ideas. Don’t assume all is well. Assume that your kids will or could access porn and plan accordingly. I would add that elders should be talking to men one on one about pornography, asking if they are using it, and if so to what degree.
Second, but a good, virtuous society cannot be built on internet filters. The long term solution is to create a society where fruitful monogamy within marriage is seen as good and normal. We don’t just want to push back against porn we also want to promote righteousness. This means our sons and daughters, as well as ourselves, need to be committed to fruitful sex within marriage between one man and one woman for life. This is the standard God set and therefore is is best for us, best for society, and brings God the most glory. Our people need to see it practiced and hear it preached and taught on. Marriage does not automatically make men more mature and responsible nor does it guarantee that women and children will be cared for, but it does a much better job than sexual promiscuity, abortion, and pornography. There is a lot that could be said, but this will suffice. To defeat sexual sin we must promote sexual virtue.
Third, sexual freedom and license destroy women. It always has and continues to do so. How could it not. Men become tyrants. Women become the tyrannized. Children become problems to be solved or avoided so I can have sex whenever I want. Sexual license destroys the weak. And whether you like it or not the weak are women and children. Feminism, which pushed for the freedom of women, has set women free, free from the protection that marriage and men provided. Think of the key sexual/marriage issues of our day: abortion, divorce, sexual promiscuity, pornography, and adultery. Who is most likely to come through them better off, the man or the woman and her child? In a majority of cases it is the man who suffers least. He can have his woman, real or virtual, and then cast her off and her child should he wish. The answer to this is not stricter child support laws or more welfare support for single moms. The answer is to create written laws and social pressure, including economic pressure, that support marriage.
As the general practitioner said, “Things are much worse than people suspect.” We are a culture that is awash in sexual sin of all kinds. 80% of pornography users feel no guilt when viewing porn. Our consciences are dead. The church is not excluded from this and in many ways has led the charge by refusing to practice church discipline, allowing for no-fault divorce, and blurring the lines between men and women. But the good news is that we have a Savior who can deliver us from our guilt and the power of sin. And He has given us a sure Word to guide us. If we repent and bend the knee to the Scriptures we can find forgiveness, healing, and holiness. But if we refuse the rot will continue and God’s judgment which has already begun, will continue unabated. Lord have mercy on us.