What about those young men or women who are not married? Can they still practice hospitality? The answer to this is , yes and they must. The command in Romans 12:13 is to all Christians, not just the married. However, there are can be some difficulties practicing hospitality when you are not married. Let me give a few bits of advice for those who are single. Much of this could also apply to couples who are limited in their space.

First, for young women and men still living at home. Make sure you are actively engaged in helping your parents with their hospitality. Do not stand by and let your parents do all the work. Do not assume that since you are now eighteen and work a full time job you have no part in your parent’s hospitality. If you cannot serve your parents while at home it will be difficult to serve others when you have your own home.

Second, if you live on your own you will have to think outside the box when it comes to hospitality. Most singles (and young couples) do not have room at their home/apartment to entertain a family.  To fulfill this command they are going to have to do things differently. You could offer to bring a meal to a family’s house and eat it with them. Most families would love this. Don’t be afraid to get a bucket of chicken or pizzas either. Remember hospitality is not about impressing people, but serving them. If you are single, you could take a couple or family out to a restaurant for a meal. During the summer you could meet a family at a park and grill for them. When you are invited over to a home bring food and/or drink. If you have the space, you could invite over all the members of a family that are your sex. For example, a young man could invite a father and his sons for dinner and games. As a single person your hospitality will look different from that of families. And normally you will be the recipient of a lot of hospitality. But do not be afraid to take initiative. It might feel awkward initially, but you will learn and families will appreciate it.

Third, watch hospitality in action. When you are invited to a home, observe and take mental notes about how things are done. Learn from the families around you so that you are ready to fill their shoes when the time comes.

Fourth, do not forget singles of the same sex. If you are a young man, invite young men to your home or apartment. If you are a lady, living on your own or with a roommate, invite other ladies in. You can cook them a meal or order pizza. Of course, singles love to go out and eat. That is a great way to get to know one another, especially in mixed company.  But having people in your home or apartment is better preparation for hospitality. Just because you are single does not mean you cannot do hospitality.

Finally, for those of us who have families we need to make sure were include single men and women, as well as young couples, in our hospitality. We will learn from them. They will learn from us as well.

Here are the next five principles for hospitality. For the first five you can see this post.

Sixth, practice makes perfect. Our first attempts at hospitality can be awkward. The food may not turn out. The conversation may fall flat. We might forget obvious things. But like anything, we get better with practice. As we have more people over and different types of people, we learn what works and what doesn’t, what we can handle and what cannot handle. We will find ways to start conversations and direct them and how to make our guests feel comfortable. Hospitality, like most things, becomes easier the more you do it.

Seventh, if you have children, include them in the preparation. Let them cook. Let them get out special toys for their guest. Help them to see the sacrifices and joys that come with having guests over. Make sure they help clean up when the guests are gone. This will give your children a vision for hospitality and serving. One word of warning though. Do not make your children work the entire time the guests are there. You enjoy time with the guests. Let them enjoy that time as well.

Eighth, there are no excuses for refusing to practicing hospitality. Hospitality is hard work. It is a lot easier to find “reasons” not to practice hospitality than it is to do it. However, hospitality is essential to our Christian life and witness. It is not a “get to it if we can.” It is something we have to do and get to do as followers of Christ. As I said my earlier post, we are all at different phases in our lives and this can limit what we can do. However, there is rarely a reason to never practice hospitality.

Ninth, we shouldn’t grumble as we practice hospitality. I Peter 4:9 tells us to practice hospitality without grumbling. Of course, we don’t grumble when guests are around. But there is always a temptation to grumble before they arrive or after they leave. We complain about the hard work as we get ready for our guests. We complain when our guests leave without saying thank you. We grumble about the problems our guests bring into our home or their children not being as well-behaved as they should be. All of that is sin. Grumbling mars the good work of hospitality.

Finally, don’t judge other people’s hospitality.  In  a hospitable church, it is easy to give sideways glances. We begin to wonder why one family rarely invites anyone over. Or maybe we wonder why another family seems to have everybody over all the time. We wonder why they have three children and we have three children, but they never invite families over and we always do. Jealousy, envy, and pride are constant temptations when we start to obey the commands of Scripture. Tend your own garden. Stop worrying about the garden across town.