We Are All Freaks

freak-show

The sooner conservative Christians recognize how they are viewed by most of American culture the sooner we will be able to effectively  work and fight within that culture. Many Christians want people to like them. We want to be seen as upstanding citizens and good moral people. We believe we are a respectable lot that deserves to be tolerated. We want to be thought of as a little different, but not too different. We want people to like our children. We want to fit in.

But the reality is far different from this utopia we imagine in our heads. If you hold to a few basic tenets of Christian ethics, such as sex is for one man and one woman within marriage,  homosexual practice, unless repented of and turned from, will send you to Hell, wives are to submit to their husbands, children are a blessing from the Lord, and Jesus is Lord of all, including the bedroom and the White House, you are a freak, an outcast. Imagine going around wearing a sign, “Transgenders, unless they repent, will burn.” Now I know we would not say it like that. We would qualify it in various ways. But the world will not usually hear our qualifications. The world hears, “You hate us and want us to burn in Hell. You are a threat to our happiness, you intolerant bastard.”

At first I considered comparing us to the Amish, an odd group whom others look at with apathetic curiosity. “Oh look, there is one of those funny carriages.” But conservative Christians are not looked at like this. We are not viewed as odd, but harmless. We are a threat. Our views are not just old and outdated. Our views undermine the freedom of the individual to pursue their own happiness. No we are not like the Amish. Not all will see us this way of course, but many will, especially those among the elite, such as the movie industry, music, journalists, the media, and universities.

We are citizens of another kingdom. We are soldiers fighting the principalities and powers that rule this world. We are hear to declare freedom to captives. We are loyal to Christ and His Word above all else.  We believe that right and wrong is determined by Scripture, not by what we feel in hearts.  All of this sounds innocent. But the details tell a different story. We do not operate with the same values as the world around us. We have different basic principles and different goals. Our lives, even if we live them quietly, tell the world they are wrong. While we know we are for the world, the world increasingly views us as a grave threat.  The world views us as dangerous freaks. The sooner we understand this the better. How then shall we live?

First, don’t fear. There is nothing of lasting consequence that the world can do to us. It can take our money, jobs, reputation, and life, but it cannot take Jesus. And if we have Jesus we have everything.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6

Second, guard your heart against the love of the world and the desire to be loved by the world. I am convinced that in the coming years most Christians will not leave the faith because of theological problems or because of being hurt by someone in the church. They will leave because they love their reputation more than they love Jesus. They will turn their backs on Christ rather than be made of fun of and laughed at by the world.

Third, we shouldn’t whine about how the world treats us.  Christians are terrible at developing a martyr complex. We walk around grumbling and complaining about what was said about us on that blog or in that newspaper. Friends reject us for our views and we pout. It looks bad. Christ said rejoice when we are persecuted for our faith. Don’t walk around feeling sorry for yourself when the world hates you.

Finally, our worship and our homes should be overflowing with joy.  We are children of the King. Our inheritance is sure. When we are reviled by the world that means we are being counted with the prophets and men like Paul. In contrast to the world, where joy is slowly eroding, let us rejoice and be glad.

Each generation of Christians must fight the battle the Lord gives them in that age. We don’t get to pick and choose. Part of the good fight in our age is the willingness to be thought of weird, out of step, odd, outdated, freaks, and threats in order to follow after Christ.

Showing Compassion in the Nasty Public World

Good Samaritan

I am a pastor with nine kids and a flock of about 14 households to care for, which includes over sixty people. I have made many excuses over the years for not being involved with or caring for people outside my family and church.  But the world doesn’t just need fathers at home and fathers in the church the world needs fathers in the city gates. Our communities need men who care about the community, who will preach to her, live truth in front of her, call her leaders to walk in the truth, care for her physical needs, and love her. But too many Christians, especially conservative ones, are rarely involved in their community. Pastor Tim Bayly’s chapter “City Fathers” in his book Daddy Tried was convicting on this issue. Here is a section where he sweeps away the excuses we make for not caring for those in our community.

In His parable of the Good Samaritan, Jesus introduced to a godly city father. I’m sure you know the story. The man really loved his fellow man, the man who as a good father, even to a stranger in his community, was the man who helped him. And I’m sure you remember the uncaring men who did not stop to help their brother in need. What sorts of excuses might we make if we came across a man left for dead by thieves today.

-Uh, right Jesus; we should love our neighbor as ourselves. But you know, right now I’m working on loving myself. And you know, it’s hard work! I grew up in a broken home…

-You know what Jesus? My parents never took me to church or Sunday school. I grew up in a single parent home. Men came and went every couple of months and “God” was  curse word, so I am trying to change all that in my home. We have family devotions every morning, we’re part of a family-centered church and we homeschool. I run my own business, so between family dinner and homeschooling and co-op and flute and piano lesson and gymnastics and soccer and church and my business, I pretty much fall into bed every night…

-We’re committed to having as many children as the Lord chooses to bless us with, so my wife doesn’t have a minute to call her own. We’ve seven kids in ten years-it’s been forever since she and I got away along together. I know I’m supposed to love my neighbor. But honestly, where’s the time…

-Part of the reason we live out here in the country is so we can get away from the world’s bad influences. Some of the people around here are meth addicts and I really don’t want them in our home. I don’t want them around my wife or children. I’m afraid if I stopped at their house to meet them, someone might light a cigarette and the whole place would blow up. You know?…

-Listen Jesus. You know what? I don’t think my so called “neighbor” is that lousy bum out walking in the traffic island in the middle of the intersection trying to make people sorry for him with that sign asking for money. He can work just as good as me. Why doesn’t he? You know he’s gonna spend the money on booze or drugs. He’s not my neighbor….

-I’ve thought carefully about the whole thing, Jesus. Poverty is not an economic problem. It’s a spiritual problem with a spiritual solution. Real poverty isn’t hunger or thirst or limited medical care. It’s dying without faith in Jesus Christ. We need to give our attention to the first things. We’ve gotta be Gospel-centered. We can’t spend our time arranging deck chairs on the Titanic when souls are dying and going to Hell…

-Jesus, think of all the so-called Christians who have turned away from witnessing to the Gospel, instead talking about social justice, healing the planet, sustainability, and global warming. Is that what this is all about? Are You just telling me to engage in more liberal do-goodsim?…

You see how many ways we justify our cold hearts? We love ourselves quite well, thank you. Meanwhile, we’re absolutely convinced we have no money or time or energy to love any outsider. We think most of Christian living is simply keeping our marriage and home intact.

Jesus wants us to understand that being a neighbor to a man in need is not a duty, but a privilege. Instead of trying to limit our compassion, we’re to live by faith trusting God to give us everything we need as we look for opportunities so serve, love, and show compassion in the nasty public world outside our clean homes and churches.

It’s our privilege to take responsibility for others, especially others from the wrong side of the tracks, others lacking visas, others who worship a false god, others whose problems are overwhelming to us and will likely bankrupt us if we stop to ask how we may help. This is our privilege.

This is what God did for us. See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us that we would be called children of God; and such we are. (I Jn 3:1)

Our Father is unbelievably  liberal with His love, isn’t He? If we are commanded to be like Him, why are we so conservative? When He has been so tender can compassionate, sending His only begotten Son to die for sinful man, how can we be so stingy? Why are we so tight-fisted?

Look, the world doesn’t have enough bandwidth on the web or ink and paper to print all the excuses we self-professed Christian men use to justify ourselves in our lovelessness. Can we not commit ourselves to hear Jesus’s story and to learn what He intended to teach us by our hero, the Good Samaritan?

This chapter was painful to read. We, conservative Christians who love our money and peace and privacy and theology,  make these excuses. We wrap our coldness up in Bible verses and pious phrases. The reality is we don’t want to get dirty with the world. We don’t want the beaten man’s blood on our nice clean clothes. How can we change this brothers? How can we get our families to care, to truly love, those in our community?  I continue to evaluate what the church, her pastors, and her people are called to do out in the “nasty public world.” One thing I am convinced of is that we need to find ways to love our neighbors and to practice justice and mercy in the city gate. If we do not our witness will be weak and God will not be glorified.

A Parent Centered Home

All About Me 1

A parent centered home is just as much an abomination to the Lord as a child centered home. The difference is that in a child-centered home the world sees tantrums at Wal-Mart and the little girl tell her mommy, “Get me that ice cream. Now!” But in a parent centered home the children are often well-behaved. They will not throw tantrums, at least publicly. They will work hard. They will obey. But for all the wrong reasons. The parents are what the home revolves around. Too many parents discipline and train their children from selfish motives. Why does the parent train the child? Because the parent wants an easier life. The goal is not spreading God’s Kingdom. The goal is not service to others. The goal is not the good of the child. The goal is making the parent look good, making sure the parents aren’t embarrassed, and making sure things are easy for the parents. There is a word for this: selfishness.

But you will say, “Isn’t the problem in our world out of control children?” Yes…in the world. However, in conservative churches the problem is usually not out of control children. The problem is parents who discipline from selfish motives. And the motives matter. The “why” is important. It is easy to assume that if our children are well-behaved we are fine parents. That is a deadly assumption and the mother of a plastic surgery Christianity, where we try to look one way, but the reality is something different. Many Christian parents cover their own selfish motives for parenting with Bible verses and pious sounding phrases. But the child knows.

A child should grow up knowing what the parent does, their discipline, their training, teaching them chores,  making them do their homework, making them sit still worship, and playing with them is done for the Lord and for the child and not for the parent’s ease and comfort. The child should know and see that the parent is sacrificing for them. The parents should be pouring themselves out for their children. By this I do not mean, spoiling them with things, though a parent should be a thoughtful and generous gift giver. But all the little acts that cost. The time spent talking and training them. The time to bath them and teach them manners. Letting them play in the mud despite the extra laundry.  Taking them to the store with you despite the extra time it takes. Reading that book again and again. Watching a movie the teenagers want to watch instead of what you want to. Taking the five year old fishing even though you will spend more time untangling lines than fishing. Teaching them chores not so you can be more productive, but so the child will grow and mature. In all these works, the parent should be sacrificing for the child. The parent should not be manipulating the child so the parent’s life will be easier.

Also the parent should not sacrifice not so the child will sacrifice for the parent. A parent who says or thinks, “I did this for you, now you do this for me” does not understand grace. No. The parent should sacrifice for the child because it is the right thing to do before the Lord in the hopes that the child will come to understand God’s kindness and go out and sacrifice for others. The goal cannot be the parent’s ease, comfort, reputation, or glory.

Does this sound harsh and offensive? Only to those who think much of themselves and little of their sin. Parents, we fail at this daily. Often what we do for our children is not driven by love but by selfishness. There is good news though and yes it is Jesus. Christ came because we are failures. He came to forgive. If you are a parent and not daily confessing your heart sins there is a problem. He is faithful. He can cleanse us. But he also came to give us victory over our sins, not just forgiveness. So confess that you are too selfish with your children. Thank Jesus for his shed blood. Get up off your knees forgiven by God. Then go out and start teaching and training your children, not for your sake, but for theirs. Not to protect your reputation, but to protect their souls. Learn to ask what is best for the child and not what is easiest  for you. Pour yourself out with little thought to what you might gain. “But that is so hard and painful,” you say. Yes dying is.

2016.Episode 11~Look in the Mirror

 

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When you see a pattern of sin in your child, what is your first response? In this podcast I encourage parents to look at their own lives when they see sin in their children.

2016.Episode 8-Stay at Home Dads?

Stay At Home Dad

Is it okay, under normal circumstances, for the wife to go to work and the husband stay home with the toddlers? The answer is no. In this podcast I explain why.